What does it mean to be a Woman?: Part I

“To be happy at home is the ultimate result of all ambition.”
~ Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) ~

Having three young daughters, and being a girl myself once, the question has always played around in the recesses of my mind on what it really means to be a woman.  The question that follows is how being a woman affects my choices in life, work and study.  In the past year or so, this question has entered into the forefront of my thinking.  Why?   Quite simply because I now have a young woman in my home, who is on the cusp of womanly independence and the doorway to her own adult life.  Posibilities are opening up to her now, and the choices laid before her require thought and care.  And so this question requires settling.  In the making of her choices, and in my guidance of her choices.  I do not want to restrict her, where restriction is unnecessary.  I do not want to open up worlds of possibilities to her, if those possibilities will turn out to be detrimental to her life as a woman, and her future home and family life.

“The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.”
~ Margaret D. Nadauld ~

Most women will marry, bear children and have their own home.  Those who remain single, who may live alone, or in shared accomodation are still women; their womanhood is not less than those who are married with children.  Some women participate in paid work, others keep their work and influence strictly within the confines of their own domestic sphere.  But they are all still women.

As unto the bow the cord is,
So unto the man is woman;
Though she bends him, she obeys him,
Though she draws him, yet she follows;
Useless each without the other!
~ from “The Song of Hiawatha” by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (Part X: Hiawatha’s Wooing)~

Womanhood is often defined in relation to manhood.  Manhood is often defined in relation to womanhood.  This is a key here, I think.  To be a woman, is not to be a man.  To be a man is not be a woman.  And the two were meant to work together.  In the more intimate, personal settings of home and family life.  In romance.  In the wider scope of society and community, where men and women are to relate in a general manner, considering each other as 'brothers and sisters'.  Men and women - 'useless each without the other', in all these areas.

What this does not mean is that women are confined to the indoors for their entire lives, knitting, crocheting and cooking.  It does not mean that men are never to lift a finger in the work of the home, and treat their womenfolk like their servants, and that it is their right to live a high life on the town, ignoring their domestic lives.  It does not mean that girls can never climb a tree, or boys can never bake.  It does not mean that men and women can never work alongside one another.  It does not mean that women cannot read intellectual works and study the higher disciplines and that men cannot be creative in their pursuits.

So what does it mean to be a woman exactly?  I am glad you asked.  Stay tuned to see how my daughter and myself are attempting to answer that question in our own lives, home, and community.  And I am very interested to hear your thoughts and queries about this question as well.  What does it mean to be a woman to you?

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